Unfuggedabul olidays

by Peter Radclyffe
(Italy)

Jerkish gullet or the best

Company has expensive, no experience in boatbuilding, we dont have the nessry, facultys, kipment, or person, We dont no how to make good boat, all boats we build is rubbish but we don’t care, because when you paid, whot you gonna do baht it, fool, you believe, any things wot we tell you, one born every minute.

Out of 4’000 pictures we select onli 13 to show you cos rest is rubbish, we are never ready to answer the questions from customer, cos we are in whorehouse with bank manager, then we go casino, sniff drugs, where we make joke about stupid client, soon parted with cash.
Like ever body knows you either gedda de Turkish or de best, we don’t givva de fuk.

Gullet is very old vessel built of crap, they were used for 12’000 years by thieves, stealing all you got, olive oil, amphoras, wine, was used when we got plastered with ouzo, in extensive exploration and trading voyages we go rape and pillage, with your sheep.

Over the years the gullet has degenerated from was beautiful graceful swan, now is fat ugly pig of dog, finished with sand blast and cement, cracked deck, weak superstructure, hull not caulked, cos we fuggin lazy, so boat sink you buy another boat, we not stupid, we see you coming out of bank.

Most boats is built by rum bods called Stanley on the black, many years ago we study where we find best materials, we make extensive search high and low far and wide, thick and thin, then after careful deliberation and much consultation we make choice , the engine come out of front of old lorry, the wood fall of the back, we do our very best for you sir are most discerning customer, refined and prestigious in your ways, true or not we know you want hear this, you so stupid you pay we tell you your wonderful.

Our boats are so well known in Sweden they are called Voidatallcost, which our Swedish friends tried to translate to us but we too thick to understand much at all.

The emphasis in our ranch built cabins is no air conditioning, tacky finish, leaky deck, goat in cupboard, mosquito in broken shower.
None of this is in our brochure which is written by B.Cartland and any banker who lost his job, now we use his lack of moral fibre to sell you nightmare/holiday you will never be able to forget.
We don’t care because next year another punter flies delayed plane.